Hi, I want to setup a mysql server on a separate box (I mean not the one with apache). Both are debian servers. I have two main questions :- in which box should install php4 ?- which parameter in ...

If you need to allow remote connections to your MySQL server, see how you can easily accomplish that task.

This quick tutorial on how to install the MySQL database explains how to download and configure the MySQL Community Edition on Windows.

Your mysql server might have been started with "skip networking" enabled, which means that it will only be accessible over a unix socket, not a network socket.